Stop Asking Why Things Went Wrong

In sales, as in life, things go wrong. Things turn out differently than we had planned, and mistakes get made.

• Customers fall into ‘radio silence,’ refusing to return calls or email. They stop moving forward, they change their minds, they get offended or even offensive.

• Colleagues stop cooperating, leave their positions without giving you notice, or they actively disagree over the direction to take with a customer.

• Deals fall through that you thought were solid and contracts shrink after you had agreed on a scope of work.

• Commitment levels slip, management information is incorrect or missing, and your team come off like idiots on governance calls.

'S***’ happens, right?

And, when it does, the first question that is almost universally asked is why? Why did this happen? Why did they do this or say that?

Why is the wrong question to ask.

First, it’s accusatory in nature. Why did you do this? Why did you let that happen? Why didn’t you see this coming? It’s the question asked by parents, teachers, and others in authority who sometimes made our early years more miserable than they needed to be.

It assumes that the people who screwed up somehow knew better at the time, that they can explain their lapse in judgment and behavior, and that offering this explanation will somehow prevent a similar lapse in the future.

This subtle accusation is felt by the people who are on the receiving end of the why question. They often get defensive, blaming themselves or other people. They stop thinking clearly and they start covering their backsides. The question Why begs people to make stuff up about the stuff that happened. Then things get really muddled.

Most of us don’t really know why something happened. We have our suspicions, our theories, our guesswork - we may even be pretty sure we know - but, in fact, we don’t know exactly why the disappointing things happened.

This is especially true in sales situations, which nearly always involve human beings making assumptions, drawing conclusions, and engaging in speculation – all of which is based on precious little real data.

When a sale falls through, and the drop-down box on the CRM (or your manager, in a one-on-one review) asks why it failed, do you really ever know? Even if the customer said, ‘Your price is too high,’ you know, don’t you, that this is rarely what’s really in the way?

It’s like a golfer who hits a bad shot and then starts talking about how he turned his wrists over, or didn’t shift his weight, or opened his shoulders too quickly. The golf swing is so complex and it happens so quickly that few if any golfers really know what they did wrong.

Why simply generates stories, explanations, excuses, and pontifications. Worse yet, it rarely leads to substantive action that changes things for the better.

Here’s a more effective question to ask when something goes wrong: how did it happen?

How is about action, behavior, and the string of events that led to the failure, the loss or the misstep. How is something tangible because you can diagram it. It’s a progression you can follow: a series of decisions and activities the consequences of which become clear as you lay them out.

The next time one of your people fails, try something different than throwing around the usual explanations.

Let’s say your salesperson lost a deal that you thought was in the bag. Sit down in front of a whiteboard with them, perhaps with a couple of colleagues who were involved in the selling process. Ask how it happened and diagram the series of activities that led to the end result – the lost deal.

1. Start at the beginning - the referral, the initial sales call - and then ask: What happened next?’ Put it on the diagram. Keep asking: then what happened? What did the customer do? The salesperson? His colleagues?

2. Ask for the assumptions that people made, the conclusions they drew, and include them in the diagram. Also include things that people neglected to do, decided not to do, or failed to consider doing. They’re part of the picture as well.

3. You’ll know when you’ve diagrammed enough, because everyone will start understanding the progression of activities that led to the failure of the deal.

4. Then it’s time for everyone to reflect on the next question: What part did I play in this deal going bad? What assumptions did I make? What conclusions did I draw? What actions did I take or not take that contributed to the deal falling apart?

5. Now you can figure out what to do next to either rescue the deal or to let it go and move on to something else.

Evaluating failures and missteps in this way - with no blame attributed and no excuses required - leads to genuine institutional learning. You will finish the conversation with practical, realistic, ideas about moving forward, and people who are committed to the actions you decide to take.